Why Some Submissives Want to Be Tickled
Some people absolutely hate being tickled. They find it irritating, uncomfortable and want it to stop immediately. Yet there are others who specifically seek it out, and will book an entire BDSM session just to experience being tickled.
I find the tickle fetish interesting because it is something different. It can be fun, playful and still involve a very real power exchange between the Dominant and submissive. What I enjoy is learning what each person is looking for, putting together a plan and then getting to execute that plan.
Like most things in BDSM, there is not one cookie cutter approach. What one submissive enjoys about tickling may be completely different from what another is looking for.
What Is a Tickle Fetish?
A tickle fetish is when someone has a particular interest in tickling, whether that interest is sexual, psychological or simply part of the kink experience they enjoy. Some people use the term tickling kink while others prefer tickling fetish. I am not particularly concerned with what someone calls it, I am more interested in understanding what they want to experience.
Tickling by itself is not necessarily BDSM. You can tickle somebody in an ordinary playful situation and there is no Dominant or submissive involved. What changes within BDSM is the agreement between the people participating and the control that is given to the Dominant.
In my practice I work with submissives who specifically enjoy being tickled. They are coming to me because this is something they want, and they want me to be the person directing that experience.
Why Do Some Submissives Enjoy Being Tickled?
I think what people who do not enjoy tickling have difficulty understanding is why somebody would voluntarily ask for something that can make them squirm, laugh or become uncomfortable.
The answer is that not everybody experiences tickling the same way, and not everybody is looking for the same thing.
For some people the physical sensation is part of the attraction. For others the fact that they are submitting to someone who is controlling the experience is important. There can also be anticipation, not knowing exactly what is going to happen next or how they are going to respond.
I find the psychological aspect particularly interesting because the submissive knows they have agreed to the experience, but I am the one directing it. They have given me that control within the boundaries we have discussed.
That does not mean every submissive is looking to be pushed to their limit. Some want a lighter experience while others are interested in something more intense. I have to learn what that individual is looking for rather than assuming everybody with a tickling fetish enjoys the same things.
What Makes Tickling Different in BDSM?
The biggest difference between casual tickling and tickling in BDSM is the power exchange.
When you come to me for a tickling session, you are not simply asking somebody to tickle you. You are asking me to take control of an experience that we have discussed and agreed upon beforehand.
As the Domme I am making decisions about the pacing, intensity and how the session develops. You are allowing me to direct those things, but that does not mean you have given up your boundaries or your ability to communicate with me.
I also think tickling brings a different energy into BDSM. Not every session needs to be serious or intimidating to involve genuine submission. There can be laughter and playfulness while the Dominant is still very much in control.
That is one of the reasons I enjoy it. The power exchange during a tickling session is fun and playful in my opinion, and I like the challenge of figuring out how to create the experience that particular submissive is seeking.
Laughter Does Not Necessarily Mean Enjoyment
One thing I think is very important to understand about a tickling fetish is that laughter does not automatically mean somebody is enjoying themselves.
People can laugh because they are being tickled. That is a physical reaction, and I do not take it as permission to keep going or increase the intensity.
I pay attention to how the submissive is responding throughout the session. Their breathing, their facial expressions and the changes in their reactions all matter. If somebody’s breathing becomes rapid or they are gasping, I will slow down or adjust accordingly.
I have one sub who does not laugh during tickling. He wears a gag, so I pay particular attention to his face and expressions. That is a good example of why you cannot judge somebody’s experience simply by whether or not they are laughing.
Somebody can be laughing and need a break, just as somebody can be enjoying tickling without laughing at all.
The important thing is knowing the person you are working with, paying attention and respecting what has been agreed upon. If a submissive needs the activity to stop, laughter does not change that.
What Happens During a Dedicated Tickling Session?
I offer dedicated tickling sessions where tickling is the main focus of the experience. The submissives who come to me for these sessions are specifically interested in tickling combined with bondage, which can range from light restraint to strict bondage.
Before we ever begin, I want to understand what you are looking for. I do not assume that because you have a tickling fetish, I automatically know what kind of session you want.
There is discussion beforehand so I can learn about your experience, interests, expectations and boundaries. This allows me to develop a plan that is appropriate for you rather than simply doing what I have done with somebody else.
Once the session begins, I am paying attention to your reactions and making adjustments as needed. The intensity is paced based on the individual submissive. What works for one person may not be appropriate for another.
I enjoy that part of the process. Learning what somebody is interested in and then having the opportunity to carry out the plan is what makes these sessions interesting for me.
Does Tickling Require Bondage?
No, tickling itself does not require bondage. However, bondage is a significant part of the dedicated tickling sessions I personally conduct.
The submissives who come to me for tickling want it combined with restraint. That can mean anything from light bondage to something much stricter, depending on what has been discussed and agreed upon.
Bondage changes the experience because movement becomes restricted and the submissive is relying on the Dominant to direct what happens. That can add another psychological element to the tickling itself.
I do not believe strict bondage is automatically better than light bondage. It depends on the individual and what they are comfortable with. There is no reason to make a session more restrictive simply because somebody thinks that is what they are supposed to want.
Restraint also does not eliminate consent. Even when somebody has agreed to strict bondage, communication and their boundaries remain important throughout the session.
Can Tickling Be Combined With Other BDSM Play?
Tickling can be incorporated into other BDSM activities, although my actual experience with tickling submissives has been primarily dedicated sessions.
The submissives who see me for tickling come specifically for that experience, combined with bondage. I have yet to have somebody request tickling as part of a broader BDSM session.
That does not mean tickling cannot work with other forms of play. It simply means I am not going to pretend that I regularly encounter combinations that I have not actually experienced.
I can incorporate tickling into other BDSM play when it is appropriate to the request and we have discussed what you want. As with any other fetish, I would need to understand what role you want tickling to have within the overall experience.
Not Every Tickling Sub Wants the Same Thing
One of the things I enjoy about being a Dominatrix is that each submissive is different. Even when two people request the same fetish, their expectations and reactions may be very different. Tickling is no exception.
Some submissives may prefer a lighter approach while others are interested in greater intensity. Some want light bondage and others want strict restraint. The level of experience they have can also make a difference in how I approach the session.
I do not measure whether a session is successful by how intense it becomes. The objective is to provide the experience that we have discussed, while remaining attentive to how the person is responding.
I also do not assume that because somebody enjoyed something previously, they will necessarily respond exactly the same way every time. I pay attention to the person in front of me.
What Should You Tell Me Before a Tickling Session?
If you are considering a tickling session with me, I want you to be honest about what you are looking for and what experience you have.
If you have never participated in a professional tickling session, tell me. If you are interested in bondage but have very little experience with restraint, I need to know that as well.
You should communicate your boundaries, what interests you and anything you are uncertain about. The more accurate the information you give me, the better I can understand what kind of experience is appropriate.
When somebody inexperienced applies to serve me, once they have been screened, I specifically tell them NOT to lie when completing their homework.
Be honest and truthful. If you exaggerate your experience or tell me what you think I want to hear, you may end up disappointed or things can go wrong.
I cannot properly plan a session around information that is not accurate. You do not need to pretend to be experienced to explore a fetish that interests you.
Communication During Tickling Is Important
Communication does not end once the tickling begins. In fact, it becomes especially important because somebody may be laughing, gasping or otherwise finding it difficult to speak normally.
This is why I pay attention to more than what I hear.
If I notice a submissive’s breathing becoming rapid or they are gasping, I slow down or adjust the intensity. Their facial expressions and overall reactions are also important to me.
As I mentioned before, I have a submissive who does not laugh and wears a gag. I cannot rely on laughter to tell me how he is responding, so observing his face becomes particularly important.
Before any session involving limited speech, there needs to be an agreed way for the submissive to communicate when they need a pause or want to stop. Physical reactions alone should never replace that communication.
I am directing the session, but that also means I have a responsibility to remain attentive to the person who has trusted me with that control.
What Do Beginners Misunderstand About Tickling?
I have only had one beginner come to me specifically for tickling. We had a great deal of discussion beforehand as well as follow-up conversations afterward, and I do not feel there was anything that was misunderstood.
I think that is important because it shows the value of discussing expectations rather than assuming somebody already knows what a professional session involves.
What I would tell somebody new is not to confuse the fantasy of tickling with knowing exactly how they will respond to it. You may have researched the fetish or thought about it for a long time, but experiencing something in person can be different from imagining it.
I also would not suggest that you need to request strict bondage or a high level of intensity just because you think that makes the experience more legitimate. There is nothing wrong with being inexperienced or wanting to begin with something lighter.
Be truthful about what you know, what you do not know and what you want to explore. That gives us something realistic to work with.
My Boundaries During Tickling Sessions
I have never had to decline somebody’s tickling request, nor have I had anybody ask me for something inappropriate in connection with this fetish.
That does not mean there are no boundaries.
My expectations are very clear. You are to speak to me respectfully, you are not to touch me and you are not to ask me for anything intimate. These are professional sessions and I expect those boundaries to be respected, regardless of the particular fetish involved.
A submissive having a tickling fetish does not give them permission to disregard my rules any more than somebody interested in bondage or another form of BDSM.
Respect and honest communication are part of the experience from the very beginning.
Is a Tickling Fetish Always Sexual?
Not necessarily. Tickling can be playful, psychological, erotic or part of a consensual power exchange. The meaning depends on the people involved and what they are seeking.
In BDSM, an activity does not have to involve sexual contact to have significance for the submissive. Sometimes the attraction is in the control, anticipation or the experience of submitting to another person.
I think it is important not to make assumptions about somebody simply because they enjoy a particular fetish.
My professional boundaries remain the same regardless of whether a submissive personally experiences tickling as erotic or primarily enjoys the power exchange.
What matters to me is understanding what they are requesting and whether that fits within the kind of session I offer.
Exploring Your Tickle Fetish With Me
If you have a tickle fetish and are interested in exploring it professionally, I offer dedicated tickling sessions that can include bondage ranging from light to strict.
You do not need to have extensive experience, but I do expect you to be honest with me about your interests, limitations and expectations.
If you are looking for tickling to be incorporated into another BDSM experience, that is something we can discuss as part of your request. I would want to understand how you envision it fitting into the session rather than making assumptions.
What I find enjoyable about tickling is that it is something different from many of the other activities I incorporate into BDSM. I love the challenge of learning what a person is looking for and then getting to execute the plan.
The power exchange can be fun and playful, and that is part of what makes it appealing to me as the Domme.
I do not expect every submissive to react the same way, nor do I want them to. Understanding those differences is what makes working with individuals interesting.
If tickling is something you have been curious about, tell me what draws you to it. Whether it is the physical sensation, the anticipation, the bondage or the idea of giving up control, I want to understand what you are hoping to experience.
