Why Some Submissives Want to Be Pets
Why would a grown adult want to be treated like a pet?
For somebody who has never experienced pet play, it can look strange from the outside. Maybe you see somebody dressed like a puppy, wearing a tail or hood, crawling around on the floor and you think, why would somebody want to do this?
In my many years as a Dominatrix I have found there is not one answer. Sometimes you want the attention and affection that you might not be getting in your personal life.
Sometimes you have a stressful job and you want the freedom to step away from adult responsibilities for awhile. You don’t want to make decisions, you don’t want to talk about work or whatever else is going on. You want to be my puppy and just be a puppy.
And sometimes, it really can be that simple.
What Is Pet Play in BDSM?
Pet play in BDSM is a form of adult role play where you take on behaviors and characteristics of an animal within the dynamic. You know you’re a human being. I know you’re a human being.
Nobody involved thinks you have literally turned into an animal.
What changes is the role. Instead of interacting with me the way you normally would as an adult, you might sit at my feet, respond to commands, make animal sounds, complete tasks or receive praise and affection.
Depending on what you are looking for, I might take more of a Trainer role, a Handler role or simply be the person giving you the attention and direction you need.
I don’t approach every pet submissive the same because every sub’s personality is different. What you may need from me can be completely different from what somebody else needs.
Is Pet Play the Same as Puppy Play?
Puppy play is probably the most recognizable form of pet play and in all my years as a Dominatrix, it is definitely what I have encountered the most.
But it isn’t the only one.
I have had submissives interested in being puppies, kittens, pigs and ponies. Each animal role can create a different kind of experience and I don’t treat them as interchangeable.
Puppy and kitten play, in my experience, can have a more affectionate style of submission. Pony play tends to be different. A pony is more of a work animal, so when I am working with my pony I tend to take more of a Handler role and the experience can become much more task driven.
That is one reason I want to know what you mean when you tell me you’re interested in pet play. Saying you want to be my pet really doesn’t tell me everything I need to know.
Why Do Adults Enjoy Pet Play?
Different submissive’s are attracted to pet play for different reasons and I don’t think you can put everybody into the same box.
Sometimes you may be looking for attention and affection because you lack that in your personal life. Other times you may be carrying a lot of stress, especially from work, and being a pet gives you the freedom to step away from those adult responsibilities.
For that period of time you don’t have to be the person making all the decisions. You have a much simpler role.
Attention, Affection and Praise
If you come to me carrying a lot of stress from work, I may find that what you need is more nurturing, praise and affection, especially if you’re my puppy.
You might sit close to me and receive pets. You might complete a task and get excited because I praise you or give you a reward. Sometimes that affection is a major part of what the person came to me needing.
My kitten is a good example of how different this can be. I only have one kitten and that dynamic is much more about attention, praise and gentleness than completing tasks. It gives that person time to just let go and relax.
Getting Away From Adult Responsibilities
This is something I think people who don’t understand pet play miss.
The outside appearance gets all of the attention. They see the hood, tail, crawling, bowls and whatever else is being used and assume that is the entire fetish.
For some submissives the bigger part is what they temporarily get to stop being.
You may have a demanding job. You may spend your entire week being responsible for other people, making decisions and dealing with stress. When you come into my space and become my puppy, those things can be put aside for awhile.
Now your concern might be much simpler. Did you follow my command? Did you find your treat? Did you please me?
There is a freedom in that for some people.
What Is Pet Headspace?
When I see somebody slipping into pet headspace, one of the first things I notice is less adult conversation.
They get quieter. My puppies might start whimpering a little bit. My kitten might mew. My pony might neigh, whinny or snort.
Their communication starts matching the role more and they are less focused on having a regular adult conversation with me.
That doesn’t mean you actually believe you’re an animal. It means you’re getting more absorbed into the role and the experience.
The outside world starts becoming less important for that period of time and your attention becomes much more focused on what is happening between you and me.
My Role Depends on the Pet in Front of Me
I don’t have one title or one exact personality that I use with every pet submissive.
Each submissive personality is very different so with each one I enjoy a different style or a different role. With some, I enjoy giving them the attention and affection and praise they need. With others, I really enjoy the Trainer aspect.
I also pay attention to what you’re needing in your life at that time.
If you’re carrying a tremendous amount of stress, being extremely strict with you may not be what you came to me needing. You may need nurturing and praise instead. Another submissive may respond much better to structure, commands and discipline. And with my pony, I tend to be more strict and disciplinary because that particular animal role is more task driven for me.
So when you approach me for pet play I am not just thinking, “Okay, you’re a puppy.” I want to know what kind of puppy you are and what you need from the experience.
What Does Pet Play Actually Look Like?
With puppy play, I use commands such as sit, roll over, fetch and play dead.
I have a puppy bed, so I might tell my puppy it is time to take a nap. Sometimes I hide what I call doggy treats, which are usually cereal, and it becomes the puppy’s job to find them. When he finds a treat he gets to eat it and then he may receive extra pets as his reward.
Puppy play can also be much quieter than that. You might simply sit close to me and receive pets and attention.
Kitten play, at least with the kitten I currently have, is different. That is much more gentleness, attention and praise. Not so many tasks. It is a chance for that submissive to relax and let go.
Pony play becomes more task oriented for me and I act more like a Handler. I may ride the pony around my space and depending on the person and what they are wanting that day, there can be some disciplinary elements incorporated into that experience.
The point is there isn’t one pet play session. If you come to me expecting there is a standard script that every puppy, kitten or pony gets, that isn’t how I work.
Praise, Rewards and Correction
I love watching the reaction when one of my pets does something correctly and gets rewarded for it.
There is something very enjoyable to me about giving a task and watching the excitement when they accomplish it. Their excitement feeds my energy and that chemistry between myself and many of my submissive’s can be pretty powerful.
Praise can be a big part of that. A treat, pets, affection or simply knowing they pleased me can mean a lot to somebody who is in that headspace.
Correction and discipline depend on the submissive and the type of pet play. I don’t believe you automatically need to make pet play harsh simply because it is BDSM. In fact, many of the people I encounter with this interest are not coming to me looking for pain.
Again, I pay attention to the person.
Pet Play Gear Is Important, but Don't Go Crazy Buying It
I do find accessories and gear very important in my pet play sessions. The physical pieces help create the experience and help you step into that role.
I supply things such as tails, hoods, toys, bowls and beds. But if you want something like a full latex costume, that is your responsibility to purchase because it needs to be custom to your height and weight. Something that specific needs to fit you.
I also would not suggest you go out and spend a lot of money when you have never actually tried pet play.
Start with the basic things I already own. Dip your toes into a few sessions and see how you respond to it.
You may discover pet play isn’t actually for you. Or, something I think is equally important, you may discover that the pet you originally chose isn’t the right pet for you.
You thought you wanted to be a puppy and then realize another role fits you better.
Research is useful but research isn’t living the real thing. Sometimes you can read everything online and then when you actually experience it, it is very different.
Pet Play Often Blends With Other BDSM Practices
Most of the submissive’s who come to me for pet play don’t necessarily want pet play completely by itself.
I commonly see it blended with bondage and service. Humiliation can be incorporated for some people, as well as other BDSM activities depending on the submissive and what we have discussed.
That is another reason I don’t assume I know what you want because you used the words “pet play.”
One puppy may want affection and praise. Somebody else may want obedience, bondage and service incorporated into their role. Another may enjoy some humiliation as part of it.
The pet role can become the structure around those other interests.
Pet Play Can Be Playful Without Being Meaningless
Sometimes pet play is amusing. I don’t think we have to pretend otherwise.
I enjoy watching subs complete tasks and sometimes what they do makes me laugh. But I’m not laughing at the person or making their interest into a joke. There is a difference.
I personally am an empath and I feel people’s energy. When my submissive gets genuinely excited because they did something correctly and I reward them, I feel that excitement and it feeds my energy as well. That interaction can be very powerful even when what we’re doing looks playful or silly from the outside.
One of my most memorable sessions involved a puppy submissive who was in full gear and blindfolded. I had hidden doggy treats around my space and he crawled around sniffing like a puppy trying to find each and every one.
Every time he found one his excitement was over the top. That is what made the session so memorable to me. Not how complicated the activity was, but how completely he was into it and how excited he became every time he succeeded.
What Pet Play Is NOT
One of the biggest things I want you to understand is that people who participate in pet play do not think they are actually animals. That assumption comes from people looking at the outside of the kink and not understanding what is happening psychologically.
And it isn’t just about putting on a costume either. Yes, the costume can be important. The hood, tail, gear and accessories can absolutely help create the role. But underneath that you may be looking for nurturing, praise, affection, submission or simply the chance to let go.
Pet play also does not automatically mean you want pain.
Usually the people I encounter aren’t looking for pain as the central reason they’re doing this. That can change depending on the individual and the animal role, but it isn’t something I automatically assume you want.
Communication Comes Before the Pet Role
Before you become my puppy, kitten, pony or anything else, I’m going to have a conversation with you.
I do that with each and every submissive who reaches out to me, whether it is pet play or any other type of BDSM play. It is highly important for me to discuss what you’re looking for so I have a complete understanding and can help create the experience you’re actually asking for.
And that conversation doesn’t happen once and then disappear.
If we continue sessioning together, I continually touch base with you because your needs can change. People grow. Your outside life changes. Something you needed six months ago may not be what you need now.
Maybe you originally needed strict structure and now work has become extremely stressful and what you need from me is more nurturing. Or your interests simply change as you experience more things.
I need you to communicate that with me because I can’t meet needs I don’t know have changed.
Exploring Pet Play With a Pro Domme
If you are curious about pet play but have only researched it online, I would not rush into deciding exactly what your experience is supposed to look like.
You may think the gear is what attracts you and discover it is actually the headspace. You may think you want strict puppy training and discover what you really respond to is praise and affection. You may even discover you chose the wrong animal role for yourself.
That is why I want to talk with you first.
Tell me what attracts you to the fantasy. Tell me what you’re hoping to feel. Tell me whether you want tasks, affection, obedience, humiliation, service, bondage or simply an opportunity to shut off the adult part of your brain for awhile.
Then I can understand what you’re actually asking me for rather than just seeing the word “puppy” on an application and making assumptions.
Why Would You Want to Be My Pet?
After years of working with submissive’s, I don’t think there is one answer.
Maybe you want to let go of a stressful life for awhile. Maybe you want affection and praise. Maybe you like being given simple commands and knowing exactly what is expected from you. Maybe you enjoy the gear and transformation. Maybe being trained and corrected is what pulls you into the experience. Or maybe you won’t completely understand what you like about it until you actually experience it.
That is why I tell people not to spend a fortune before they know. Come experience the basics first. Find out whether pet play works for you and whether the pet you imagined yourself being is actually the pet that fits you.
You can do all the research you want, but sometimes research and living the real thing are very different.
If you are interested in exploring pet play with me, Apply to Serve and tell me what kind of pet you think you might be.
